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#103 : Cheval de Troie

Titre VO: "Randy's Touchdown" - Titre VF: "Cheval de Troie"
USA: 04/10/2005 - France: 05/11/2006
Scénario: J.B. Cook - Réalisation: Marc Buckland

Lorsqu'ils étaient au lycée, Earl a empêché Randy de marquer un touchdown. Earl décide alors de tout faire afin de réparer cette erreur en inscrivant son frère dans l'équipe de football américain de leur ancien lycée.

Avec: Bob Rumnock (le proviseur), Dennis Burkley (le propriétaire), Gregg Binkley (Kenny James), Cheryl Hawker (Rosie)


5 - 1 vote

Titre VO
Randy's Touchdown

Titre VF
Cheval de Troie





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Plus de détails

OPENING SCENE: At the motel, Earl and Randy are walking along balcony to the vending machine.
Earl: (v.o) Ever since my divorce and winning a hundred thousand dollars in the lottery and discovering the concept of karma, I feel great. (Earl puts money in and presses 55, it spits out 2 packs of powdered donuts) and the more bad things I cross off my list the more karma rewards me.
Earl: (to couple standing behind him) clean living.
(Earl and Randy start walking down the stairs to the parking lot)
Earl: Randy, theres something to be said about waking up and feeling like a good person.
Randy: you are an ass
Earl: what’d you say?
(Randy points to Earls car, ‘U r a ass’ is spray painted down the side)
Earl: Joy

CUT TO: Joy’s trailer, she is painting her toe nails.
Joy: it waddn’t me. But I do agree with the car, you are an ass. Hmm
Earl: umm Joy, (Ear lifts up her hand, it has blue paint on it)
Joy: (pulls her hand away) Fine. What are ya gonna do, call the police. please do cos I have a few things I want to discuss with them about where you and your brother got that refrigerator. (puts her hand on her hip)
Randy: Earl, don’t call the police, they still have my picture up over at the circuit city.
Earl: Look just leave my stuff alone, ok
Joy: well how bout you give me half of that lotto money and maybe then I’ll leave you alone.
Earl: You know I need that money so I make up for the things I’ve done on my list
Joy: you and your stupid list. What about your kids. You have a family to support. (kids run past Earl and Randy)
Earl: Those aren’t my kids Joy.
Joy: that doesn’t matter. They have become accustomed to a certain quality of lifestyle that you provided for them with all your crookery, now I tried to get their new daddy to fill your shoes, but Darnell is not cut out for crime. (all look at Darnell playing a video game)
FLASHBACK: old lady walking down the street Darnell runs pass and steals her handbag. He stops, feels bad and takes the bag back to the lady.
Darnell: (to lady) I’m sorry, I shouldn’t did that.
Lady: that’s ok, are you hungry, I think I have a little candy bar in here (looks in her bag) you want a little candy bar.

Earl: Where’s my grandfathers coo coo clock?
Joy: I pawned it (lights up a cigarette)
Earl: (confused) what?
Joy: what do you think cigarettes grow on trees?
(Earl looks angry)

CUT TO: Pawn shop. – Randy and Earl pull up in the car outside.
Earl: (v.o) except for scoliosis, the only thing my grandfather passed down to me was that cookoo clock. And I couldn’t stand the thought of my only family heirloom sitting in a pawn shop.
Randy: you sure you want to get grandpa cookoo clock back? That thing almost put my eye out.
Earl: (getting some cash out of cash box) well you shouldn’t have been so close you knew what time it was.
Randy: how much is it gonna cost. That’s an awful lot of vending machine notes your pulling out.
Earl: I’ve got an extra hundred for Rosie, while we’re here I might as well cross number 58 off my list, Fixed a high school football game.
FLASHBACK: Football game, Randy is about to go on the field.
Earl: (v.o) After sitting on the bench all year the coach told Randy that he was finally gonna get a chance to play (Randy is waving to Earl in the bleachers, Earl is giving him the thumbs up). I saw this as an opportunity to make a bet with Rosie, the local bookie and pawn shop owner, I bet a hundred dollars on Randy’s team to lose. Course I didn’t need luck, I had Randy.
(The team makes a play, everyone runs for the ball, the crowd is booing, Randy takles his own team mate, Earl is laughing giving Randy the thumbs up)

END FLASHBACK – BACK TO PRESENT – Earl and Randy are now inside the pawn shop.
Earl: I can’t wait to see Rosies face when I pay her back.
(inside pawn shop, Earls face is plastered against the window, Rosie has hold of his shirt)
Rosie: you disgust me Earl Hickey, Fixing a game, I should pull you through this talking hole and stomp on your sweaty little teabag. (pushes him away, points and calls over Randy)
Randy: (reluctantly) what’s up Rosie. How you bin?
(Rosie grabs him by the shirt and pulls him against the window)
Rosie: you had one chance to feel what it was like to score a touchdown and you threw it all away, just because of your worthless brother asked you to.
Earl: (v.o) That was true,
FLASHBACK: The football game, referee blows the whistle, the play starts the ball gets thrown in the air, Randy catches it, he starts running to score, Earl is in the crowd trying to stop him, Randy sees him pointing to the scoreboard and he purposely drops the ball. Earl is giving him the thumbs up.
Earl: (v.o) maybe I didn’t just cheat the bookie, maybe I cheated Randy too. And took away his one chance to score a touchdown.
CUT TO: The Motel, Earl and Randy are walking by the pool. Randy is holding the clock.
Earl: Randy, do you regret the fact that you never got to feel what its like to score a touchdown.
Randy: ahh, I guess it would be cool to get lifted up by people, I’ve never been lifted up before. It looks fun.
Earl: (nodding) I think I have to put you on my list Randy. I took away your touchdown, I gotta give it back.
Randy: how in the world are you gonna do that
Earl: It may sound crazy but, I think you’ll have to go back to high school. (the coo coo clock goes off)
Randy: that was weird. (Earl nods)

CUT TO: Copy Shop, Earl is there and so to is Kenny.
Earl: (v.o) I needed to get Randy a fake birth certificate for high school, luckily that homosexual fella I know works at a copy place.
Earl: thanks for doing this Kenny.
Kenny: are you kidding, thank you for helping me come out of the closet. I didn’t realize there were other people like me, I’ve worked with Bruce for years and didn’t know.
Bruce: (wearing a tank top and tight pants at the copy machine) Yes you will collate.
Kenny: (smiling, to Earl) here you go (slides him Randy’s new birth certificate.)

CUT TO: Principal office – Randy, Principle and the old guy (was the yard sale guy in ‘Quit Smoking’)
Earl: (v.o) the birth certificate looked great. All we needed was a fake father to sign the paper work and we were in.
Principal: transfer student huh.
Old guy:  I travel a lot for work.
Earl: (v.o) With the football season almost over I wanted to make sure Randy got a chance to play. So I picked a school with the worst team in the league. (Randy and Principal are walking through schools sports lockers, Randy sees team, consisting of skinny, asthmatic and short kids, and the coach hugs him)
(Outside Northwestern High School, Earl and Randy are walking out of the building)
Earl: how was your first day of school
Randy: Great! I really enjoyed science class. Did you know that before we were humans we were monkeys?

Earl: Really? What were we before monkeys?

Randy: I don't know. I can't even remember being a monkey.
(they have stopped on the footpath).
Earl: Where’s my car?
Randy: What?
Earl: I parked my car right here. Somebody stole my car. (panicking) My money. My money was in the car. Randy my money was in the car.
Randy: who would want to steal your car , it’s a piece of crap with ass painted on the side.
Earl: (quietly) Joy.
CUT TO: Joy’s trailer. Earl walks in. Joy is siting on the couch doing nothing.
Earl: (annoyed) where is it Joy?
Joy: why don’t you ask the guys down at impound.
Earl: you had my car towed.
Joy: yep. Maybe if you gave me some of that lottery money, I’d find more things to do.
Earl: (v.o) it was at that point I realized that Joy had no idea that my money was actually in the car.
Randy: (playing with the kids) Hey Earl, Joy had no idea that your lotto money was in your car.
(Earl is holding in anger, Randy realizing what he said and Joy is in shock. Earl runs out of the trailer, Joy tries to follow him but falls over, Randy isn’t too far behind Earl.)
Joy: (in pain) I busted open my rug burn.

CUT TO:  Impound lot, Earl and Randy are talking to the impound guy in the office.
Earl: (v.o) Joy’s fall bought us a little time. But getting the car wasn’t gonna be easy. It seems I owed some money on unpaid parking tickets.
Earl: three thousand dollars.
Guy: that’s what it says.
Earl: (v.o) I knew I could pay em if I could just get to the car but these aren’t the kind of guys you want to let know you have change in your ashtray. Much less a hundred thousand dollars under your front seat.
(Randy is watching the guy sharpen a pencil with a pocket knife, looking scared)
Guy: what up with the football
Randy: I play for Northwestern high. I’m gonna score a touchdown.
Guy:  what’s you’re height what are you in the seventeenth grade.
(Joy runs into office)
Joy:  Excuse me sir, I’m here to pick up my car
Earl: Nope, its not her car, its my car.
Joy: my names on the tattle too
Guy; I don’t give a rats ass about whose damn car it is, I’m gonna give it to whoever gives me three thousand dollars.
(Joy’s face falls from a smile)
Randy; Sir, can I have this magazine for a collage, one of the cheerleaders was out sick today, we’re gonna decorate her locker.

(Outside impound lot, Randy and Earl are looking through the fence at the car)
Earl: (v.o) I knew neither Joy or I would come up with three thousand dollars without selling a kidney, so I concentrated my efforts on somehow gettin to the car.
Randy: I don’t know Earl, maybe we should think of another way, I mean electricity hurts.
Earl: I used to sneak my car out of here all the time. They only turn this thing on at night. (Earl Cautiously touches fence) See. Come on lets get that money.
(Randy and Earl start climbing fence. There are 2 guys in the office and when Randy and Earl get to top of fence they turn on the electric fence)
Earl: (v.o) while I was busy trying to get to my car, Joy was trying to get a loan for three thousand dollars.
(Joy is in line at the bank, dressed seriously, putting on lipstick, Darnell walks up wearing jeans and a wife beater)
Darnell:   Hey baby
Joy: Darnell, what are you doing in here, I told you to wait in the car.
Darnell: its hot out there,
Joy: baby, I’m trying to get a loan here ok. Look you know I don’t see colour, but these people are never gonna give me three thousand dollars, if they see me here with a black man. Ok.(Darnell walks off annoyed) Darnell its not me, its America, I don’t make the rules.
(Joy is sitting down at the loan office desk, when an African American walks in)
Banker: So they tell me you’re looking for a loan.
Joy: yeah, you know what I left something in the car. I’ll be right back.
(Minutes later, Darnell is sitting beside her)
Joy: we really only need the money for like an hour or two.. (whispers to Darnell) say something black. 
Earl: (v.o) Joy didn’t realize it doesn’t matter if your balck or white,you can’t borrow money against the rented 1972 trailer, with a documented carbon monoxide leak.
Banker: I’m sorry. (Joy storms off, To Darnell while looking at Joy's posterior) Nice pool, brother.

Darnell: Right on (leaves)

CUT TO: Earl’s motel room Randy and Catalina are on the bed. Randy is reading a book for high school.
Randy: Earl I need twenty dollars to enter the science fair.
Earl: randy all my money is in the car. Besides your going to high school to score touchdowns not decorate lockers and enter the science fair.
Catalina; come on its only twenty dollars. He’s already growing his potato.  (View of potato in a cup with toothpicks)
Earl: Just put those books down and help me think. If we don’t figure out a way to break into the impound yard and get my money, we are gonna have to eat that potato.
Randy: oh hey Earl, how bout this. Its called a Trojan horse. (show Earl a picture of a Trojan horse).
Earl: (v.o) and there it was a great idea that we never would of found If I hadn’t made Randy go back to high school.
Earl: (to Randy, smiling) Karma strikes again.

CUT TO: Motel Parking lot, Kenny’s blue Lecar is there. Earl and Kenny are there,
Earl: (v.o) instead of a wooden horse I was gonna use a car. I called the only guy I knew that had one that actually worked. Kenny.
(They open the trunk of the car)
Earl: okay I’ll just hide in the trunk and you park the car in front of a hydrant and once I’m towed into the impound, I’ll hop back get my money, head on over to the high school and watch Randy score a touchdown.
Kenny: sounds like a solid plan Earl.
Earl: (v.o) Kenny’s a good guy – but to be honest, his friend made me a little uncomfortable.
(The guy is Bruce from Kenny’s work)
Bruce: (sounding like a girl) This is so exciting.
Earl: I’ll just get in the car.
(Earl tries to get in the car, but he is too big for the trunk – Kenny is shaking his head)
Earl: Man, I’m too big.
Kenny: I’ll do it.
Earl: Really?
Kenny: after everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do.
Earl: oh Thanks Kenny. Are you sure you can fit in the trunk.
Bruce: I’ve seen him fit into the trunk.
Kenny: (giggling, taps Bruce) Stop it
Bruce: stop it
Kenny: you stop it (taps Bruce)
Bruce: you stop it (taps Kenny)
Kenny: you stop it (taps Bruce)
Bruce: you stop it (taps Kenny)
Kenny: you stop it (taps Bruce)
Bruce: you sto-
Earl: whoa whoa whoa.. why don’t we all stop it, ok. Lets shut down the horseplay.
(Kenny taps Bruce as he climbs into the trunk)
Earl: Alright, once the car is in the impound, get out get my money and meet me at the football game.
(Kenny gives Earl the thumbs up before Earl closes the trunk. Bruce waving.)

CUT TO: High School sports lockers, Randy is there getting ready for the football game.
Earl: (v.o) while I was getting back my car, Randy was getting psyched.
Player: (to Randy) are you ready?
Randy: I’m ready are you ready.
Player: I’m ready are you ready (whacks him on the chest)
Randy: I’m ready are you ready (whacks him on the chest and the kid goes down.)
CUT TO: outside Pawn Shop
Earl: (v.o) while Randy was getting psyched, Joy was still trying to get her hands on three thousand dollars.
(Joy leaving Pawn shop, getting in the car with Darnell.)
Joy: Sold almost everything we own and all I got was fifteen hundred dollars.
Darnell: That’s not enough.
Joy: I don’t know where we’re gonna get all this money from. (pauses and sees a homeless man asleep with a trolley full of cans) watch my bag (gets out of car and steals the mans trolley)
CUT TO: Kenny’s car getting towed, Earl is watching.
Earl: as for my plan the Trojan horse was on its way. Only instead of a horse stuffed with a bunch of Greeks, we had a LeCar stuffed with one tiny gay. This meant I was free to enjoy the game. (Earl at the football game, joining Catalina and Randy’s fake dad in the bleachers) I wanted Randy to have a lot of support so Catalina came too, I even invited his fake dad.
Fake Dad: (chanting) Push em back, Push em back, way back.

CUT TO: Darnell on side of the road picking up cans. Joy pulls up in the car.
Joy: you can stop now. Stupid guy at the recycle centre only gave me eight dollar for that whole cart full of cans.
Darnell: we’ll never make enough money this way.
Joy: (with attitude) you think? (Sits down on road barrier ) Cans are just too damn small, they pay by the pound, we need heavier cans. (taps on steel road barrier) what is this thingy made of?
(View of the car with 3 steel barriers strapped on the back)

CUT TO: Football game, Randy is on the ground, having trouble. He gets up and stumbles to the team huddle.
Earl: (v.o) Randy was having a little more trouble on the field than I had anticipated. I think all those years of sleeping all day and drinking all night have caught up with him.
Catalina: he looks wobbly
Earl: (yelling to Randy on the field) Keep your chin up Randy! You can do this! (points to his list) I need you to score buddy!
(Randy gives him the thumbs up)
Earl: (looking around) where the hell is Kenny.

CUT TO: impound lot, Kenny opens the trunk and two large dogs are barking at him.
Earl: (v.o) unfortunately for Kenny, the aftershave he was wearing tracked the Dobermans.

CUT TO: Football game. The score is  guest 20 to home 16  with 12 seconds to go in the 4th period.
Earl: (to Catalina) this is his last chance of scoring.
Randy: (to his team on the field) give me the ball. I’ll get it in the in zone. I have to. Ready
Team: Ready. (they run to their positions)
Earl: (yelling) come on Randy.
(the play starts, Randy has the ball he’s running up the field dodging tackles, he is going straight for the in goal, Everyone is cheering, Randy drops the ball, Randy walks off looking disappointed, so does Earl)

CUT TO: The high school – Earl is walking to Catalina.
Earl: (v.o) I felt horrible. I sent Randy up and failed. I feel like I took away his touchdown all over again
Earl: (to Catalina) I can’t find him any where. He must have been so upset he walked home.
(Joy pulls up, beeping the horn.)
Joy: Hey Earl Hickey. (Showing a stack full of cash) I raised the three thousand dollars. Where’s your Karma now, Dammie
(Earl looks defeated)
Darnell: (waving) Hey Earl
Earl: hey crab man.
(Darnell and Joy drive off)
Earl: (v.o) I knew as soon as Joy got to that impound yard, life would be ruined. Without my hundred grand I would have to get a job and wouldn’t have time to cross things off my list. So I started running. (Earl starts running) and I ran as fast as I could, for as long as I could, but eventually all those years of sleeping all day and drinking all night caught up with me. (he stops running, puffing, and Catalina walks over to him)
Catalina: men in your family don’t work out a lot do they.
Earl: (puffing) we never got caught up in the whole physical fitness craze, no.
(Catalina and Earl walking down the road)
Earl: (v.o) it was bad enough Joy was on her way to steal my money but I was also starting to regret wearing flannel boxers on such a hot day.
Earl: I can’t believe all my money is gonna be gone. My life is over.
Catalina: where I grew up we had thes things called banks.
(they hear a horn, they turn around, Randy pulls up in Earls car holding the Earls money tin.
Randy: do you need a ride?
Earl: what the hell are you doin? How did you get my car?
(Randy gets out of car)
Randy: I paid for three thousand dollar to get it out
Earl: (confused) what, how
Randy: I fixed the game again. I fumbled that ball on purpose and this time instead of betting a hundred dollars I bet three thousand.
Catalina: so you were just faking it when you looked so tired on the field.
Randy: no that was real. I threw up four times.

Earl: wait why didn’t you tell me about this.
Randy: cos I knew you and your karma list wouldn’t let me do it.
(Earl turns around looking disappointed)
Catalina: what’s the matter aren’t you happy.
Earl: no I am. I’m happy, I’m happy I got the money back, but I did it again. I forced him to give up his touchdown. I can’t cross it off my list.
Randy: Earl you didn’t make me do this. I did it because you’re my brother and I wanted to. I can make my own decisions, I’m not an idiot.
Earl: but don’t you wanna know what it feels like to score a touchdown.
Randy: I’m pretty sure it’s the same feeling I got when I drove up and saw the smile on your face
Earl: (Smiling) well there’s only one thing left to do - Catalina.
(They try to pick Randy up and carry him, laughing)
Randy: Put me down - I don’t like it, I don’t like it.
CUT TO : Pawn shop
Earl: (v.o) The first thing we did the next day was pay Rosie back the three grand we won by fixing the game. (Rosie slams Earl against the window again) needless to say she wasn’t too happy about it.
Rosie: you’re pathetic Earl Hickey.
CUT TO: impound lot and Kenny’s car.
Earl: (v.o) as for Kenny, he eventually made enough noise that someone came and rescued him. as it turned out his ‘drecar noir?’ attracted more than just the dogs (guy who saved him and Kenny holding hands) Kenny told me later that he and his new friend spent a lovely weekend together in wine country (Kenny and guy having a picnic) I was just glad to hear Bruce was no longer in the picture.  And now that I have my money back, I was able to give Randy twenty bucks to round out his high school experience. (Randy at Science Fair with his potato, with a green ribbon on it          looking proud)
Earl: (looking at ribbon, impressed) Participant, nice.
Earl: (v.o) and as for Joy, what happened to her well that was the best part of the whole story. (Joy driving the car, shaking the money at Darnell laughing)
Joy: (to Darnell) sniff this we’re gonna be rich.
(when she sees the homeless man pushing an empty trolley she swerves and puts her car in an open gutter, ironically where she took the road barriers.)
Joy: (angry) How am I gonna get the car out (hits Darnell whose unconscious) Darnell, how am I supposed to get the car out,
Earl: (v.o) Karma you got to love it.



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quimper, 08.08.2022 à 17:07

Viens aider le célèbre détective londonien à départager huit criminels en votant dans le sondage. Bonne semaine à tous

lolhawaii, Avant-hier à 01:24

Le calendrier d'août est arrivé sur les quartiers Hawaii 5-0 et MacGyver Ce sont des créations de Terillynn, venez nous donner votre avis svp !!

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Bonsoir à tous ! Nouveau mois (encore très chaud) sur les quartiers Alias, Angel, Dollhouse et The L Word.

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Voyage au centre du Tardis : thème de la semaine, l'Aventure qui vous a le plus marqué, on attend vos photos alors passez voir le Docteur

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