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#111 : Le ranch de la sagesse

Titre VO: "Barn Burner" - Titre VF: "Le ranch de la sagesse"
USA: 05/01/2006 - France: 03/12/2006
Scénario: Greg Garcia - Réalisation: Marc Buckland, Ken Whittingham

Lorsqu'il était plus jeune, Earl a brûlé le "ranch de la sagesse" alors qu'il était avec son frère dans un camp de vacances. Voulant rayé cette erreur de sa liste, il se rend alors au même ranch et décide de le reconstruire. Mais il s'apperçoit que ce n'est peut être pas lui qui a brûlé le ranch...

Avec: Louis T. Moyle (Dodge), Ryan Armstrong (Randy enfant), Cesar Flores (Hector), Abdoulaye N'Gom (Nescobar-a-Lop-Lop), Trey Carlisle (Earl Jr), Noah Crawford (Earl enfant)

 

Titre VO
Barn Burner

Titre VF
Le ranch de la sagesse

Plus de détails

OPENING SCENE: The Crab Shack –Earl and Randy and a few other people are huddled around the claw machine, Randy is in control.

Earl: (v.o) The claw machine is a popular way to pass time at the crab shack, especially when the rat gets in it.

Earl: a little more left. You can’t pick him up by his foot, go for the chunky part.

Randy: I know what I’m doin Earl. I got to sneak up on him from the back while he’s humping that Grover. Now.

(they watch as the claw goes down and picks up the rat)

Earl: be careful when you pull him out of the slot, he’s gonna be angry. (walks away)

Randy: (to Earl) he’s not gonna be angry. I saved him. (The rat lands in the slot, Randy goes to get him out and it bites him.) (to the others) maybe I should have let him finish his business with grover before I took him.

OPENING CREDITS

CUT TO: the Crabshack, Earl is standing at the bar, Joy is talking to Darnell as they approach the bar.

Joy: they are monsters Darnell, those kids are two little monsters. They used my going out lipstick to draw boobs on the car headlights again.

Darnell: Joy, I’m trying to work.

Joy: sweetheart, you’re picking crab meat out of claws. It’s not like you’re in a hospital doing kidney transplantation.

Earl: (v.o) there were a few things I missed about being married to Joy, her children were not two of them.

Darnell: boys get into trouble Joy. That’s what they do. (to Earl) tell her Earl.

Earl: I’m just ahh getting a beer and the rats back in the

Joy: what are you asking him for? I mean he was worse at disciplining those kids than you are.

Earl: (v.o) she was right.

FLASHBACK: Earl Jr is holding up a saucepan like a baseball bat and Dodge throws a teacup as a ball. Earl walks in as Earl Jr hits it, smashing it across the room in little pieces.  Earl Jr runs his bases, breaking a plate, a photo frame. Earl sneaks out of doorway)

Earl: (v.o) I found it best not to get involved.

END FLASHBACK : BACK TO PRESENT: At Crab Shack.

Barman: (puts beers down on bar) here you go.

Earl: (picks up beers) well I’m sure if you put your two heads together you’ll be able to ahh ---- good luck.

Earl: (v.o) I felt bad for Darnell, but I felt good for me. Those kids were no longer my problem.

Joy: those kids are beyond fixing. They wouldn’t even accept them over at that rotten kid’s camp. I mean I ran out of space on the application. How bad do they have to be?

Earl: (turns around) are you talking about the Right Choice Ranch?

Joy: yeah.

Earl: whose last name did you put on the application?

Joy: yours. Hickey. That’s their legal last name. Dr Crabmeat here hasn’t come up with the $180 to change their names yet.

Darnell: seems like a waste. I like Hickey.

Earl: (sighs) Damnit.

Earl: (v.o) that’s when I realized what I thought wasn’t my problem actually was. Number 164 - Burned down a barn at the Right Choice Ranch. You see as children me and Randy got into a little trouble here and there.

FLASHBACK: Carl Hickey is sitting watching TV, Earl and Randy walk up and put a metal bucket on his head and start hitting him with sticks. Carl gets up and falls over, the boys hi-five.

Earl: (v.o) and our parents didn’t seem very entertained by our antics.

(Earl and Randy are in the living room, cutting the carpet with a edge trimmer and a leaf blower)

Earl: (v.o) Eventually they had no choice but to take Randy and me to the Right Choice Ranch. It was a nice little camp that helped troubled kids turn their lives around. However their slogan raised some eyebrows. (Earl and Randy are dropped off outside the ranch, the sign says ‘Right Choice   Ranch – Touching bad boys since 1963’.) over the years they’d try new slogans (‘Right Choice Ranch – Bringing boys to their knees since 1963’) But they could never get it right (‘Right Choice Ranch – Forcing Boys to turn around since 1963).

(a group a boys, Young Earl and Randy included are standing in front of a counselor)

Counselor: The Right choices put your hands on your head. (the other boys have their hands on their heads except Randy and Earl who has theirs on their hips) The right choices, put your hands on your knees. (Earl and Randy put theirs on their heads) the right choices, hands in the air. (Earl and Randy put theirs on their knees.)

Earl: (v.o) within a few hours we were already starting to learn we didn’t have to be bad to have fun. (Young Earl is pushing Randy in a wheelbarrow) we also learned Randy was afraid of birds. (Young   Randy is walking, he crawls into a tent a chicken follows him. Randy throws him self around the tent, scaring the chicken off and the tent collapses) then, which brings us back to the list it was an accident. I had only recently taken up smoking and properly disposing of my cigarette butts was a habit I hadn’t mastered. (Camp counselor holding up cigarette packet in front of young Earl, while the barn burns down behind them)They sent Randy and I packing. Any chance of us being reformed went up in flames. Now joy’s kids shouldn’t have to pay for my mistakes. Well they’re gonna have plenty of their own to pay for.

END FLASHBACK – CUT TO Motel room, Earl is packing his bags, while Catalina watches on.

Catalina; You’re going to a farm.

Earl: shhh I’m not telling Randy, he’s afraid of chickens and the pope’s big hat but mainly because he thinks there is a chicken under it.

Catalina: can I go. I worked in a farm growing up

Earl: oh yeah where was it.

Catalina; I don’t know, we were always blindfolded when they took us there. But I know they shot my father as some Pascali, so I know it must have been north of the river of blood. (Earl looks at Catalina, strangely)

Randy: (walks in the room) man a surprise destination, give me a hint Earl, like, has funnel cakes.

Earl: ok. Does not have funnel cakes.

Randy: (thinking) does not have funnel cakes. Ok.

Earl: (v.o) I didn’t like tricking Randy, but I was hoping he might conquer his fear of birds. He’s never grown out of it.

FLASHBACK – Earl and Randy are inside what looks like a bank or post office, Randy is looking out the window when a bird flies and hits it. Randy laughing, taps Earl on the shoulder.

Randy: hey Earl, did you see what that stupid bi---- AHHH! (he sees a bird on a mans shoulder in fornt of Earl, runs away, but runs into the glass door).

END FLASHBACK - CUT TO:  Right Choice Ranch – we don’t do anything inappropriate to the boys. Earl, Randy and Catalina are walking towards ther entrance.

Randy: The Right Choice Ranch,

Earl: yep. Does not have funnel cakes. I’m gonna cross that burned barn off my list. Are you ok with that?

Randy: yeah of course. Why wouldn’t I be? (breathing heavily, a rooster crows) Earl that was a rooster. That’s a man chicken; they’re the meanest of them all. They got that red flappy thing on their mouth; I don’t even know what they make that out of. (Earl nods and walks to his car, to Catalina) I’m afraid of birds and I don’t care what you think of me.

Catalina: its ok. We all have our fears. I’m afraid of snakes and rape.

(Randy nods, looking scared)

Earl: come on lets go find the farmer.

(Earl and Catalina walk away, Randy stands still, a rooster crows)

Randy: I can’t remember what chickens you are meant to play dead or punch em in the nose. (walks cautiously away)

CUT TO: Earl, Catalina and Randy talking to the farmer

Farmer: well I’ll be. Earl Hickey. We’ve been telling everyone around here you’re dead.

Earl: nope, not dead yet. But my heart did stop briefly back in 1992, when I got stepped on at a Motorhead concert. (smiling)

Farmer: no its not that. It’s just that, we tell the kids the legend of the barn burner, we think its kind of nice to finish it with you being dead. Shot in the face actually.

Earl: Really? I have a legend.

Farmer: and a plaque.

(Earl looks impressed with himself)

(Earl, Catalina and the Farmer looking at Earl’s plaques, ‘Site of the barn Earl Hickey burned in 1982’, beside that sign ‘Bullet that shot Earl Hickey in the face’).

Farmer (Bud):  you are the example the counselors use for someone who made the wrong choice here at the Right Choice Ranch.

Counselor (Bobby): (runs up to them) Hey Bud. Little Hector said that seeing that baby lamb get born, has convinced him to laser off his teardrop tattoo.

Farmer (Bud): Hey ok Hector. Buenos, Buenos. (Hector waves)(to Earl) this here is Bobby, he was probably at the camp when you were. He was brought here when he pulled out all the teeth from his brother. He is a successful business man now, now he comes here and volunteers on weekends. Earl here is thinking bout making up for burning down our barn.

Earl: yep. Got to undo all the bad things I did, so I can have a better life.

Counselor (Bobby): well if you’re looking to make up for burning the barn, we sure could use a proper ostrich pen.

Earl: you guys have got an ostrich?

Counselor (Bobby): yeah. We got him for the racism head in the sand bonfire. We put a little KKK hood   on him and let him chase the kids around.

Earl: alright then. I’ll build that racist ostrich a pen. Maybe the campers will learn something by seeing Earl Hickey do some good.

Farmer (Bud): there you go.

Earl: just do me a favor. Don’t mention to my brother, that there is an ostrich roaming around.

CUT TO: Randy eating, while walking around the ranch. He sees a chicken, stops, drops his food and runs. He climbs a fence

Randy: what are you gonna do now you stupid bird. I’m behind a fence. Stupid chicken. (Randy turns around and there is an ostrich behind him.) (quietly) I don’t want to punch you in the nose big chicken, I’m just gonna lay down and die now. Ok, here I am dying. (Randy lies on the ground. And puts his legs and hands in the air. Two kids walk up, Randy whispers) Call the police. (they walk away) go go call the police.

CUT TO: The ostrich pen. Earl is cutting a piece of wood, while the campers are watching him, smiling.

Earl: (v.o) building an ostrich pen actually felt pretty good. But not as good as seeing all the faces of the campers get inspired by my positive example. They couldn’t keep their eyes off me. (Earl looks beside him at Catalina who has her shirt tied, showing her stomach)

Earl: Randy give me the nail gun.

Randy: (standing still by the fence) no Earl I need it.

Earl: for what? You’re not doing a damn thing.

(The chickens are walking towards him, Randy starts shooting the nail gun at them)

Randy: I think I got one in his mcnugget. You can have it now.

(Joy is dragging the boys towards the ostrich pen)

Joy: you know what, y’all stop fighting I swear to god I’ll slap you so hard, you’ll switch colours.

Darnell: hey Earl

Earl: Hey Crabman.

Darnell: this place is crazy, huh. It’s like a farm or something.

Earl: what are you doin here.

Joy: well you must be doing something right, cos they called us up and told us we could bring the boys up here. (to Catalina) Careful with that sander honey, you don’t want to injure your toilet scrubbing hand.

Catalina: (says something in i’m not sure but I think it’s Puerto Rican)

Joy: sorry sweetheart, I don’t speak maid.

CUT TO: Joy and Darnell registering the boys in camp.

Man: We’re gonna need Dodge’s birthday.

Joy: June….wait do me a favor what’s this say, (turns around shows him her lower back)

Man: That’s a smurfette riding a skateboard.

Joy: no under that.

Man: Oh June 10th.

Joy: that’s it.

Man: What about Earl Jr?

Joy: Darnell. (Darnell turns around and bends over) April 3rd.

CUT TO: Earl, Catalina and Randy at the ostrich pen.

Earl: (v.o) with Catalina’s help I finished the ostrich pen a lot sooner than I thought.

Earl: well I think I can cross this one off.

Catalina: I’ll go get us some fresh water. As a child they wouldn’t let us drink from the well because of the bodies. (walks off)

Randy: look Earl, they’re playing right choice, remember that.

Counselor (Bobby): right choice is hands on your nose. Right choice is stand on one foot. Now punch your neighbors arm. (one kids punches the kid next to him) I didn’t say right choice. (the kids are laughing).

(Earl is watching on smiling, behind him, Randy is playing right choice behind him)

Randy: The trick is you watch what everyone is doin and do what they do. (Randy starts hopping, Earl is watching him)

Earl: (v.o) I’m not sure why, but that’s when it hit me. I didn’t just screw up my own future by burning down the barn I screwed up Randy’s too.

Earl: I’m putting you on the list.

Randy: what? (stops hopping)

Earl: I’m putting you on the list. When I got us thrown out of here I didn’t just destroy that barn I destroyed your chance to be a better person. I got to put you on the list.

Randy: (takes his pen) no no Earl, I’m glad we got thrown out of here, this place is total chaos. I saw a pig eating his own poo.

Earl: but Randy, if I didn’t get us kicked out you could have had a completely different life. Look at that guy Bobby over there, perfectly pleated khaki, he’s having a good job, flossing, that could have been you.

Randy: I don’t want to be that guy Earl. I don’t want to floss, It makes my tongue hurt.

Earl: Randy, give me the pen.

Randy: no.

(struggling over the pen)

Earl: Randy. You’re going on the list Randy

Randy: I don’t wanna

Earl: it’s not up to you. Its up to Karma.

(gets the pen of Randy, and gets a shot in the hand with the nailgun)

Earl: (in pain holding onto Randy) Mother, Mother Mother mother mother….. MOTHER!

Randy: Pull it out. Pull it out.

Earl: Karma did this Randy, cos you’re not on the list. Put yourself on the list.

Randy: NO!.

Earl: do it.

Randy: No!

Earl: Do it

Randy: NO!

Earl: Do it

Randy: I burned down the barn ok, I did it, it wasn’t you.

Earl: (v.o) Randy wasn’t lying. Though he had been for quite a few years.

FLASHBACK – Young Earl and Randy are sitting in the barn. Earl is smoking, Randy is watching him.

Randy: hey Earl can I have a drag of that.

Earl: no. you’re not old enough. You can’t smoke until you’re ten. (throws the cigarette out the window) come on lets go inside. We’re gonna play a game of duck, duck everyone’s a winner. (Young Earl leaves)

Earl: (v.o) but Randy didn’t want to go inside that night. He wanted to smoke. (Young Randy takes the lantern and looks for the cigarette butt, Young Earl threw out.) Unfortunately he wasn’t alone in the barn. (Young Randy sees a chicken, screams and runs off, dropping the lantern on the hay, it catches on fire)

END FLASHBACK – The Ostrich pen, Catalina is wrapping Earl’s hand in a bandage. While Randy watches on.

Catalina: There you go. Now if you do it too the other hand I want to take you to my church so I can watch all the old ladies cry.

Randy: I’m sorry Earl. The good news is you don’t have to put me on your list. It’s not your fault, this place didn’t turn me into a good person. It’s mine.

Earl: no no, it’s not my fault you didn’t turn out like Bobby over there. It’s your fault. It’s also your fault that I didn’t turn out like Bobby.

Randy: you want me to make a list of my own and put you on it?

Earl: no I don’t Randy. You don’t need to make a list. Your list is right here (holds up his list, hands it to him)

Randy: this is your list.

Earl: not anymore its not. It’s our list. Seeing how this place could have turned me around I figure you’re responsible for everything bad I did, since the summer of 1982, and that’s about 200 things. Good luck. (Walks off)

Randy: (looking at list) stupid Carson Daly.

CUT TO: Motel Room, morning. Randy is asleep,Earl is flicking him on the forehead.

Earl: wakey wakey, hands off snakey. (take the covers off Randy, Randy has his hand down his pants)

Randy: what are you doing?

Earl: time to get up and get started on your list. I chose the first one. Took donuts from a banker, when I was not a customer.

Randy: I have to go now.

Earl: Randy, people don’t want their donuts in the afternoon.

Randy: oh sure they would. Put gravy on em, and meat inside…… (starts snoring)

Earl: Randy wake up.

Randy: (under his breath) pookeytrim. Huh.

CUT TO: Bank. Randy is giving out donuts, Earl is watching.

Randy: can’t I just leave em on the table with the other stuff.

Earl: nope you got to tell people what you did and why you’re here.

Randy: all of em?

Earl: all of em.

Randy: (yells) everybody listen up (they all scream and lie on the ground, a gun slides to Randy’s foot.)

Earl: drop the donuts, just drop the donuts.

(they back out of the bank, with their hands up.)

CUT TO: Randy is carrying a large bird bath, Earl is following him, eating.

Earl: (v.o) Randy spent the whole day, crossing things off my list.

(Randy knocks on door 216. )

Randy: my name is Earl and I stole this bird bath out of a pick up truck in the parking lot in this building. Is it yours?

(Man looks at it)

Man: nope.

(Randy carries it up the hall to 213)

Randy: this birdbath was stolen out the back of a pickup truck

Nescobar A Lop Lop : it is bad luck to accept a birdbath, from a stranger. (looks at Earl) My name is Earl.

Earl: what up Nescobar A Lop Lop. (they do this hi five handshake thingy, both chuckle)

CUT TO: Randy at a door. Earl sitting in his car, urging him to knock.

Earl: (v.o) it wasn’t easy but the hard things in life never are. Randy was responsible for who I became and it was his job to make up for everything bad I did.

Randy: sir my name is earl and I slept with your wife. (guy punches him)

Guy: was it in my own house, In my own bed?

Randy: ummm I’ll check. (runs to Earl in the car and runs back) it was in your own house but it was on the couch, the counter, the pia- (guy punches him in he face again)

Guy: wait I’ve been married a few times. Who you talking about?

Randy: I’ll find out. (goes to ask Earl and runs back) it was Sheri.

Guy: That’s fine, if it were Linda that would be another story. (smiling)

(Randy smiles back and goes back to the car)

Randy: (to Earl) done. He was ok with it as long as it wasn’t Linda.

Earl: check out number 188.

(Randy gets out of car)

CUT TO: Motel Room, Earl is watching TV, when Randy walks in.

Earl: (v.o) it was relaxing getting Randy to do my list for me, like a vacation. But then he came across something on the list he couldn’t do on his own.

Randy: I got one I can’t do.

Earl: too bad. Figure it out.

Randy: I can’t. number 98. told Dodge and Earl jr. we would have a father son day at mystery funland and didn’t take them.

FLASHBACK – Dodge and Earl Jr are sitting upset waiting for Earl.

Earl: (v.o) I promised the boys I’d take them to mystery funland, but I had also promised myself I’d go to an ACDC concert.

Earl: (walks in trailer, yelling) hey boys.

Dodge: you told us you’d take us to mystery funland

Earl: front row. They opened with money talks. (gives them the thumbs up)

END FLASHBACK – BACK TO Motel room

Earl: well I probably would have taken them if I didn’t get kicked out of camp. Randy. I probably would have had my own mystery funland. On my own private island. The Earl-hamas.

Randy: the Earl-hamas.

Earl: yeah maybe. Maybe I’d be rich and own a bunch of islands.

Randy: would there have been an island for me?

Earl: probably.

Randy: damnit. Well I can’t fix this one. They won’t let me sign Dodge and Earl Jr out of bad kid camp. They say either you or Joy or Darnell have to do it.

Earl: (sighs) fine I’ll do this one, but you have to do another one while I’m gone. (takes list) number 53 put used gum under almost every table I’ve ever sat at.

(Earl walks into the bathroom and Randy starts looking for gum under the coffee table)

Randy: how am I spose to know which ones mine and which ones are yours?

CUT TO: Earl driving his car, Dodge and Earl Jr are there too.

Earl: you kids ready to have a good time.

Both: Yeah.

Earl: (v.o) me and the boys headed on down to mystery fun land. I figured after a couple of hours of ski ball and a handful of rides on the bumper cars I’d be able to cross them off my list and get back to watching buildings fall down on TV. However there was a small problem with that plan. (Earl gets   out of car, mystery funland was in a dumpster) mystery funland was gone.

Earl: it’s gone.

Dodge: what.

Earl: Mystery funland, its gone, they’ve tore it down. I can’t cross you off the list.

Dodge: you mean your idiot list.

Earl: is that what your mom calls it.

Dodge: yeah she puts another word in front of idiot. But I don’t know what it means. The guy in Scarface says it a lot.

Earl Jr.: I know what it means.

Earl: yeah my idiot list. You guys are on her cos I didn’t take you to funland. You’re number 98. but if there is no funland there is no way to cross you off. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, this has never happened before.

Dodge: what if we just forgive you.

Earl: what?

Dodge: when someone tells the truth, and says they’re sorry, you forgive them. That’s what we learnt at camp.

Earl: (v.o) that’s when they made me realize something. It’s never too late to make the right choices in life. (Dodge takes Earl’s list and crosses them off) and forgiving people you love that’s a right choice I still hadn’t made. If these little monster kids could forgive me why couldn’t I forgive my own brother.

(Dodge hands back Earls list, Earl smiles)

CUT TO: Joy’s trailer, Randy is picking gum off the bottom of the table.

Darnell: nicorette. That’s yours Joy.

Joy; hey doofus if I wanted to see that again, I wouldn’t have put it up under the table. Why don’t you get started on the back of my headboard. Anything that’s grey was put there by Earl.

(Randy gets up, Earl walks in led by the boys)

Earl: Randy you can stop now.

Randy: I got to go start on the headboard.

Earl: no its okay, it’s not your list anymore. I forgive you.

Randy: what?

Earl: I know your sorry for what you did back then and when somebody you love is sorry you forgive em.

Randy: I am sorry I burned down that barn earl.

Earl: I know you are. It’s ok.

Joy: oh my god. You two are a couple of fruits.

Darnell: I think its sweet.

Joy: then why don’t you all go and have a three way. Pack of fruitcakes. (walks to kitchen)

Randy: I don’t care what she thinks. (hugs Earl)

Earl: I don’t either Randy.

Joy; my god I’m gonna vomit.

CUT TO: Randy and Earl in bed.

Randy; hey Earl

Earl: yeah Randy:

Randy: do you think an ostrich can get all the way here from the right choice ranch.

Earl: well yeah, I think it could walk that distance if it really wanted to. But I think the chances of it heading in the right direction and getting up the stairs and finding this particular room are pretty slim.

Randy: (thinks long and hard) I’m gonna make sure the doors locked.

(Randy gets out of bed to lock door and Earl rolls over to sleep)
 

THE END

Kikavu ?

Au total, 8 membres ont visionné cet épisode ! Ci-dessous les derniers à l'avoir vu...

Kln16 
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